Understanding the Arena
Light was let all the way in
Eventually I noticed the bra
Near the cactus in the corner
Of the yellow lawn & then
My gaze rose up the thorns
Until I saw a pair of panties
Hanging from the cactus itself
High sun over the dead car
Blue but rusted at the fenders
As though it were baring its teeth
In the driveway at the end of the porch
Where the knife pa gave me lay
After I had stuck it into the board
Left it vertical then he walked by
Tossed his foot to kick it away
I looked at him drawing his breath
He turned to me & that was all for awhile
Adapting to the Arena
The men were leaning
On the cinderblock wall
Speaking in low tones
To each other with eye contact
While nodding towards ma
Who was walking next to me
About to step into the corner store
But when I saw them see her
I decided to wait outside
So I could hear them talk
Watch them smoke laugh & spit
I tried to finish their sentences
In my head but was unable to
When ma walked out the store
They got quiet looking at her
They saw me & I realized
If I could be wanted like her
I could escape being like them
Overcoming the Arena
When the forty ounce
Was handed to me just enough
Of the green glass peaked
Above the brown paper bag
For a little moonlight to reflect
While one of the boys questioned
Whether or not I would be able
To lift it to my mouth being
Young small skinny as I was
I held the bottle with both hands
I raised its bottom high
I began to tap my fingers
On its side like I was playing
The trumpet & everybody laughed
While malt liquor poured into me
Older girls older boys everybody
I had made them all laugh
But ocean thrashed in front of us
& I was not confident
I was worried
So I appeared ready
Derek Thomas Dew is a neurodivergent, non-binary poet. Derek’s debut poetry collection “Riddle Field” received the 2019 Test Site Poetry Prize from the Black Mountain Institute/University of Nevada.